Monday, December 2, 2013

My Pitch Wars Bio (#PimpMyBio )

I know, many of you expected the next installment of The Ten Writing Tighteners Series: Brevity Blunders, but because of the holiday weekend that will be posted on 12/9/13. Instead, today is the official kick off of 2013 PITCH WARS! Whoot! If you don't know what Pitch Wars is, go check Brenda Drake's blog.

Pitch Wars is officially underway, so a few authors collaborated on Twitter and decided the mentors did such a great job telling us about themselves and why we'd want to work with them, we should return the favor. Mentors interested in learning more about potential mentees can take a look and maybe, just maybe, it will give them that one extra piece of information that will make decision time a little less painful.

#PimpMyBio is the official hashtag... I'm keeping my bio short, because I saw some tweets about how many entries all you mentors have to get through, and it looks like you guys are all swamped! We really appreciate all your hard work, by the way.

Top 10 reasons awesome mentors might wish to throw down, brawl, fight, or otherwise open a Texas-sized can of whoopass on those other mentors in order to work with me:

Penny on Halloween

10. I have the coolest poodle on the planet 

(unless you have a poodle, then I could be talked into sharing the title) Her name is Penny and she'll be three in February. And no, I don't normally dress her up.

9. I write YA and NA

Though I left these age groups behind myself *cough* a *cough* few years ago, I stay connected to what's going on for current YAs and NAs through my daughters and their friends. Karina is sixteen and Alex is eighteen, so basically I live on Teenage Drama Island. Alex is always one of  my first readers, and she loves to tell me when I've got it wrong and if the dialogue just doesn't cut it.

8. I am multi-talented

I crochet, sew, scrapbook, make homemade jams (and I'm not afraid to use them as bribes), I paint-okay, I paint walls not canvas, just to be clear, and I'm a helluva Pictionary player.

Mike and Kelley, July 2011

7. I will celebrate my 20th anniversary on December 10th

This is with a man I've married twice. The first time we were married for three years. His name is Michael and he's the love of my life. I know what it's like to be in love, on the rocks, in pain, and run through the ringer, all to come out on the other side of the fire whole and closer because of it.

Super CP, Fiona McLaren

6. I play around with photoshop to make those I admire look even more awesome...'s Fiona... she's a SUPER PC! ;) YOU TOO could earn a cape!

5. This is my second book. 

So, yes, I know it's not as perfect as I'd like to think. Though it has been CP'd by no less than 5 of my 6 amazing CPs (refer to shameless namedrop in number 2), as well as a couple of other betas, so hopefully it's pretty damned close.

4. I am brave.

I kill my own spiders and I am known as Kelley Killer of Snakes around this part of Texas (okay, so in all honesty, only two of my friends call me that...but still, I should at least get a point or two for this). Also, I've written about a tough topic (sexual abuse) and am not afraid to dig deeper if needed. Plus, I don't shy away from hard work.

 Photo by jmkizer

3. You can be yourself with me. 

So what if you crack another mentor over the head with your laptop in order to get the manuscript you want most? I won't judge. Like to work in your pink tutu and bunny slippers? That's fine by me. Curse like a sailor after one too many pints o'ale? I was in the military, I can handle it.

2. I live a completely NON-Smoking life.

 Read as: I won't blow it up yours if you won't blow it up mine. If you need confirmation that I can take solid constructive criticism, ask any of my CPs The Off Beats, one of which just happens to be *cough cough**prepares to shamelessly name drop* Fiona McLaren, also a Pitch Wars Mentor.

and the NUMBER 1 reason you should PICK ME PICK ME:

1. You love my manuscript

If you really love the premise and want to help me polish and shine it up real pretty, we can win this bitch! Um...I mean... we can win Pitch Wars. YAY!

Oh, one last thought...if you aren't finished stalking me, you can find me on Facebook here.

To all the other potential mentees, I wish you the best of luck! If you want to stalk other mentee bios, here's the PimpStation :)


  1. Congratulations on your anniversary, and good luck with your Pitch Wars query!

    1. Christ, I really appreciate that! Thank you...good luck to you too!

  2. a big can of whoopass.

  3. Well, if I was a mentor I'd want to work with you. :) Good luck with Pitch Wars!

    1. Aw! You're too sweet! Thank you! Good luck on your own entry :)

  4. Very nice to meet you! *Waves* Wanna network? You can find me @EGMoorewriter or my blog on the Pitchwars mentee bloghop. Best wishes on your Pitchwars endeavor!

    1. Hey, Emily! Nice to meet you too! Sure I love NETWORKING! I'll find you on Twitter... Thanks! And best wishes to you too!

  5. I'm slightly jealous of your artistic abilities. Slightly. *coughs*
    Good luck with your entry!

  6. Good luck on your Pitch Wars endeavor! I have enjoyed our conversations on Twitter! I hope a mentor snatches you up quick!

  7. Aw! Thank you, Marie! I really appreciate that...REALLY! And I hope the same for you. <3 <3 <3


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