The Pitch Wars Wild Ride

This ride can reach dangerously high speeds, though sometimes it will creep along slower than a slug on an uphill slippery slide. 

As many of you know, a few weeks ago, I entered an online contest, called Pitch Wars, spear-headed by Brenda Drake and other wonderful writerly people. Go here if you want to learn more. It's a yearly contest, so maybe you'd like to join the 2014 mania fun.

Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times. 

Veronica is my hero!

In early December, I spent 8 days staring at the #PitchWars Twitter feed. I hoped to garner a coveted spot as a mentee to one of the four amazing women I applied to from the equally amazing pool of Pitch Wars mentors (total of 46, I believe).

Twitter buzzed with hundreds of authors as we waited for just a tweet or two from one of our chosen mentors. We all wished for even the tiniest crumb of a clue as to whether or not the mentors had read and liked our entries.

Hands up, people, time to raise the roof and touch the sky! (or just hit the refresh button for your email until you have blisters on your clicker finger)

I love roller coasters. They make my heart race and my palms sweat. When I get frightened, I tend to laugh like a mad woman. That's exactly what I did when I got my first Pitch Wars related email. It was from Veronica Park, requesting the first 3 chapters of SECRETS I KEEP. I got so excited I created a fun little super hero image of her and posted it via Twitter as a thank you to her for requesting. I also hoped to get  her attention.

It really was a Pitch Wars version of Mr. Toad's Wild Ride from that point on.

One of my #CoolParts

Some mentee candidates came up with a great idea to offer up more info about ourselves. If our mentor choices wanted to stalk us a bit as they mulled their decision, they could do just that. So #PimpMyBio was born. I posted mine and made sure to tweet my mentors encouraging them to stalk away.

I was all O_O--HOLY COW!

The mentee candidates also tweeted teasers from their books. Using the hashtag #coolparts, I tweeted away. I tried not to tweet too often, so as to not get obnoxious. Before I knew it BAM something amazing happened! Tina Moss, one of the mentors I'd applied to, tweeted one of her applicant's #coolparts. It was MINE! And it wasn't a line I'd even thought to tweet. She just pulled it out of first five pages of SECRETS I KEEP, included in the application I sent to her.

My first five pages and my first 3 chapters were posted on my blog, and people went to check them out. All the wonderful encouragement I've received from my fellow mentees has meant so much me. The writing community is one of the most supportive I've ever seen.

I crossed all my digits, hoping this was my sub.

As the days passed, I received requests from three of the four mentors I chose. I felt like a contestant on The Voice, with coaches turning in their chairs. Some of the tweets I saw come across the #PitchWars Twitter feed amazed me.

The days trudged on toward December 10, the day of reckoning. More tweets flew. Could they be about my entry? Was it possible I might make it into the Agent Round? I'm certain every mentee hopeful had these same thoughts as they watched the Twitter feed scroll.

Jennifer Hawkins

I spent my time on Twitter making new friends and supporting others as much as possible. After all, I'd decided early on, even if I didn't manage to snag a mentor, my main focus for entering Pitch Wars was to make connections and do my best to help others.

Really, the friends I've made, all because I entered Pitch Wars, are my real prize. Another mentee contender, Jennifer Hawkins, and I hit it off right away. We've cultivated what I think of as a tight bond over the last several weeks. She's been one of my biggest cheerleaders, along with all my CPs, The Off Beats. She lives within driving distance and we have plans to get together soon. We'll either be celebrating or crying in our wine over the Pitch Wars results. Either way, I can hardly wait.

Janet, Beer Yoda

There have been several others who I've had the pleasure and honor to chat with via Facebook Messenger and on Twitter. They are all wonderful authors who I will hopefully continue to get to know better as time passes. You know who you are! We all worked hard at distracting ourselves and everyone else with fun things like #PuppyWars and #PonyWars. I even made Janet Wrenn a new avitar.

After all my nails had been chewed to the quick and half my hair pulled from my scalp, December 9th rolled around. The mentors had all made their decisions, or so we heard through the grapevine. The mentees groaned aloud, via Twitter, that we hoped they'd release the results early.

Brenda Drake, Wonder Woman

Brenda Drake, another super hero in this story, did not disappoint. The evening before the official release date, she posted the results. When the lists went up, and this ride hit the first major loop de loop. I almost wet myself trying to click over to her blog and look to see if I'd made the cut. There were over 600 authors who entered (at least, I'm pretty sure that's the number I heard somewhere) and only 46 spots for primary mentees and another 92 for alternates. Odds were against me, but I had hope—all kinds of hope. If the feedback I'd gotten wasn't just smoke blown up my backside, surely I had at least a slim shot at a mentor.

I fumbled my way over to Brenda's blog and scrolled through all the names, checking each of the mentors I'd applied with. Trisha Leaver, Stacey Lee, and Tina Moss all had full rosters, but none had me listed. Then, at the very bottom, Veronica Park's team was listed.

Veronica Park

By some miracle from Heaven, Veronica chose SECRETS I KEEP. Out of all the entries she received.Out of all the talented authors vying for a spot on her team,—*fire off the confetti cannons* *let loose the balloon drop* *commence Kermit flails*—there I was. Her mentee of choice.


My friends, new and not so new, were wonderful and congratulatory. The love they conveyed still warms my heart. Throughout the last several weeks, Veronica has been an amazing resource. Full of awesome advice on not just editing, but also marketing. She has surpassed all my hopes. My manuscript shines like a mirror in the desert sun. It couldn't be more ready.The respect and admiration I have for her is difficult to measure. She is my hero. I pray I have the privilege of calling her "friend" for the rest of my life.

I've been 'stalking' Pitch Wars agents, making a list of those I feel are likely to want to see more of . It's an exercise in futility, as there's no telling who may or may not be interested. Honestly, no matter how many requests I do or don't end up with come Thursday evening, I'll always be grateful to Veronica Park for taking a chance on SECRETS I KEEP and me. Thank you, Veronica. Thank you a gagillion times.

Warning: Loop de loops ahead

Now that we're down to a couple of days from the Pitch Wars Agent Round, this ride is coming up on its last few steep drops, though there may still be one or two more loop de loops. My stomach crawls over itself in anticipation, like snakes in a viper pit. Surely I'm not the only one equally excited and sickened by the possibilities awaiting me on Wednesday and Thursday (Jan. 22nd and 23rd, 2014).

Some day I will add SECRETS I KEEP to my shelf.

I have decided to calm my nerves by remembering this is a very subjective game. I may not get a single request this week, but it doesn't mean my manuscript isn't good, or that I'm not a great writer.

Until this demon car glides back into the station, I'm just going to hold on for dear life and try to enjoy the ride.

Have you entered writing contests? If so, what has been the best take away for you, win or not? Are you participating in Pitch Wars Agent Round in any capacity? If so, please leave your thoughts on the contest and what receiving requests can mean, or doesn't have to mean, to the mentees.

Thank you for stopping in. I will endeavor to follow this post with another next week to let everyone know how it went. I invite you to follow by email to receive that post automatically. Also, I'm working to grow my readership, so please become a member.

Ten Writing Tighteners: Underestimating the Reader

The Ten Writing Tighteners Series is coming to a close. Since Christmas is this week, like a huge portion of the world's population, I'm a bit pressed for time. So, assuming many of my readers might be as well, I'm going to run through this one in a no-nonsense manner (sorry, no photos to break up the text blocks).

Never tell the reader what they already know or will assume.

Trust their memory

An author shouldn't repeat information they've already given the reader.

For instance, once the audience knows the character's physical attributes, they've formed a mental picture. It's unnecessary to beat them over the head with hair color, eye color, or skin tone. It's almost as though the author is telling them, "Sorry, you just aren't bright enough to remember this character has brown hair, even though I told you in chapters 3, 7, and 9."

I've made this mistake numerous times, and probably will again. Recently, I went through my first novel, looking up the key words I used for the male MC's eye color. I was shocked at the number of times I told the reader his eyes were blue.

It's understandable

If the writer has told a story well, when something happens (i.e the characters think or act in a certain way or some other circumstance comes about), the readers already knows it's understandable. It isn't necessary to tell them.

Example:
It's understandable I didn't want to go into the dark room.

If the author has done their job properly, the reader will already know why the character is concerned about entering the room.

It's neither here nor there

Whether writing present or past tense, it isn't necessary to explain to the reader the character is/was here or there. 

For example, one thing I run across in my own writing when I edit (I write first person), my character saying/thinking something akin to this:

Here I am, looking through this window at the firetruck racing by. 

If the character is looking out the window, commenting on what they see through the window, the reader already knows they character is here doing so.

In a similar vein, when written in past tense it might look like this:

There I was, with the hose in my hand watching the fire destroy the house.

If the character describes the house burning, it's obvious to the reader the character was there. 

It's all in their head

When prose are written in first person, or even third person, deep POV, and a thought occurs to the character, it isn't necessary to explain that the thought is in their head. Where else would a thought be? Their foot? Their elbow?

For example:
I'm sawing the log and a thought pops into my head. Why am I using this handsaw when there is a power saw in the garage?

Instead:
My arm aches as I push and pull, struggling to cut the log. Why am I using this handsaw when there is a power saw in the garage?

In the second passage, the reader gets the same meaning, without the writer having to spell out details which would be assumed.

It is WHERE it is

A reader will always assume an expression is on someone's face. Always.

Example:
An expression of pure terror flashed across her face.

Unless there is another place the expression flashed, such as her eyes, the writer can skip that part of the sentence.

Instead:
She wore an expression of pure terror.

Also, a smile will always be assumed to show on someone's face. After all, where the hell else would it be?

Example:
A smile spread over his face.

It's certainly not going to spread over his belly button or his toes. Yes, I'm being ridiculous, but I'm trying to make a point.

Instead:
His smile spread.

Also, a heart pounds in a person's chest. Unless it's pounding elsewhere, there is no point in explaining where the character's heart is. The audience will assume that's where it is. This falls under that same principle of never tell the reader what they already know or will assume.

Dialogue speaks for itself

I have probably already covered this at some point in this series, but just in case someone doesn't read the entire series, I would be remiss if I don't point it out here as well. There is no need for a writer to explain that someone asked or said something when the dialogue itself shows the reader this happened.

Example:
"Where did you put the apples, Jim?" I asked him.

First off, there is no need to add him at the end, the reader knows who the character asked. It's right there in the dialogue. Secondly, unless there is some ambiguity as to who is speaking, there isn't a reason to use the dialogue tag I asked. The reader knows the person speaking asked a question, after all, it's right there between the quotation marks.

All the wonders of the world

When a character wonders something, it isn't necessary to tell the reader that's what they are doing. Just having the question in the text is enough.

Example:
I climbed the steps into the attic and wondered if there might be a ghost waiting in the dark.

Instead:
I climbed the steps into the attic. Is there a ghost waiting in the dark?

The same goes for third person.

Example:
Sammy crept down into the root cellar and wondered if there might be a giant spider waiting to wrap him in it's web.

Instead:
Sammy crept down into the root cellar. Would a giant spider be waiting to wrap him in it's web?

No directions necessary

Authors do not have to tell every step of every action. If a character goes somewhere in a car, the reader will assume certain things about it the character’s actions. They will automatically imagine the character pulls the door handle, opens the door, and closes it upon exit. Unless there is something special about these actions, there’s no need to mention them.

Also, falling under this category is stating the obvious and movement words which imply the direction. Take a look at the following sentence, and yes, it is an over-the-top example, solely for demonstration purposes.

Once inside the room, I crossed over to settle into the bed and sat down, and then I lay down and lifted my arm up over her waist to pull her toward me. (31 words)

Once inside the room[Ex1] , I crossed over to [Ex2] settle into thebed and sat down, and then I lay down [Ex3] and lifted my arm up over her waist to [Ex4] pull her toward me. 

 [Ex1]Obviously they went inside a room, if it wasn’t a room, that would be worth adding. i.e. "Once inside the warehouse...", but even then the reader probably already knows the character is at a warehouse. J

 [Ex2]When the audience reads that the character settles into bed, they will automatically assume they must have crossed the room to the bed.

 [Ex3]By using the words settle into bed, you’ve eliminated the need for "sat down and then I lay down”, all of this is conveyed by settle.

[Ex4]The reader will assume the character has lifted their arm and that he put his arm over her waist if he’s going to be able to pull her toward him. How else would he do it? If he does employ a different method than one would expect,then it’s worth showing the reader. (i.e. if he grasped the back of her nightgown and dragged her to him in that manner.)

Now it reads:

Once inside, I settled into bed and pulled her toward me. (11 words and could probably be pared down even more.)

It is of utmost importance for an author to never underestimate their readers. In my opinion, it insults their intelligence. Audiences pick up a book to be entertained, they don't leave their brain laying on the desk while they do so. They're fully engaged and still using all their faculties while enjoying a good story.

Thank you for taking time to visit. Please share ways you avoid underestimating your readers in the comments section. 

Ten Writing Tightener Series includes
1. Filters 10/14/13
2. Dead-weight Words 10/21/13
3. Echoes 10/28/13
4. Sentence Structure Stagnation 11/4/13
5. Redundancy 11/11/13
6. Telling vs. Showing 11/18/13
7. Voice Not Character Appropriate 11/25/13
8. Brevity Blunders 12/9/13
9. Head Hopping 12/16/13
10. Underestimating the Reader 12/23/13

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